Twitter is a mystery to me, still. Even after 6 years of being on it, I rarely know what to say or do there. Once I started writing, I kept hearing that Twitter was a necessary tool to connect with my readership. Well, I’ve yet to connect to anyone there that has actually read my book, but there are times where Twitter has proven to be just plain ol’ fun. For example: On June 29th, there was hilarious the #AskELJames trainwreck where it was proven that E.L. James’ PR department really want to see her burn.
#AskELJames Is there a safe word we can use to get you to stop writing such drivel?
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 29, 2015
#AskELJames Can you confirm that you will be writing the story of Ramsay Bolton from his perspective, showing he is just misunderstood?
— Ros (@GameOverRos) June 29, 2015
Though nothing will ever top that win for the Twitterati, I did stumble upon a trending topic that hit close to home and allowed me to vent some frustrations. Anyone who has had a serious passion for writing– whether it’s novels, non-fiction, poetry, or whatever– can likely relate to the hardships these tweeters have shared with the world. Yes: Writing is our REAL job… those of us who work elsewhere while writing do it because we have no choice. Yet. No: We don’t just sit around doing nothing on our computers. Sure, to the naked eye of the knowledgeable, we may look like we are shut down, staring blankly at the ceiling with a coffee mug held, precariously, in our grip… but we are really creating. We are building complex worlds and relationships. Choreographing an attack on our territory. Mourning the loss of someone dear to us. If our outsides looked like our insides during these times, you’d have us committed. I guarantee it.
I have picked MY top ten Things Not To Say To A Writer. Opinions may vary, and all were very honest… but these really just hit the point hard. (No, these are not “MY” as in tweets I wrote… if you want to see those feel free to check my twitter feed at @melissagraham85. I made quite a few contributions myself.
(in no particular order)
“Can I be in your novel?” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter You probably are. You’re the one who dies horribly.
— Beau (@INukeYou) July 28, 2015
I just read a book really similar to yours… #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Jarrid Wilson (@JarridWilson) July 28, 2015
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter 1. Write 2. Sleep 3. Obey 4. Follow 5. Listen 6. Create 7. Organize 8. Sanity 9. Eat 10. Date
— Chaker Khazaal (@ChakerKhazaal) July 28, 2015
“I’ve got this great idea. You write it & we’ll split the profits.” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Kate Johnson (@K8JohnsonAuthor) July 28, 2015
“Why don’t you just write a Fifty Shades-type book? That’s where all the money is.” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Miranda Dickinson (@wurdsmyth) July 28, 2015
I’d rather cut off both my hands and never write again
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter “That sounds like so much fun! Wish I could just sit around and write all day.”
— Kat Kinsman (@kittenwithawhip) July 28, 2015
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter Anything. Don’t talk to writers. Don’t feed writers. Do not make eye contact. Keep moving. You’ll be safe.
— Adam P. Knave (@adampknave) July 28, 2015
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter “Can I be in your next book?” Sure. In fact YOU are my next book. I’m going to use your skin for the pages.
— Mel Salisbury (@AHintofMystery) July 28, 2015
3. So, you’re self-published? But that’s not like…REAL publishing, though. What’s Indie? Like the music? #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Nicole L’autore (@NicoleLautore) July 28, 2015
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter Did you edit your entire MS today? No? Why not?
— Amber Weaver (@AmberWeaver75) July 28, 2015
Yeah, people really say this kind of stuff. If you aren’t a writer, maybe you wont see why some of this can be rude, mean, and downright hurtful. And then there is just the WTF factor to some of them. I would suggest what @adampknave suggested… except the ‘no feeding of writers”. Offerings of coffee, junk food, and babysitters are always welcome.