DENY THE MOON is Officially Live on #Smashwords and #Amazon

 

I feel like it has taken ages to get here, which is absurd when  you think about it. I’ve launched Deny the Moon before, right? So there really isn’t much to be said this time around.

Wrong!

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Well, okay. So my book is no stranger to the Smashwords or Kindle shelves. I know to many people, this relaunch hardly seems like a big deal and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be a big deal to everyone else.

Personally, I think it’s phenomenal. I feel like I have finally accomplished something.

“But Melissa,” you say. “How do you feel accomplished now, but didn’t before?”

“Because,” I tell you while demonstrating a perfect Captain Morgan pose, “I have finally finished!” I am done. Finally. Completely. Done.

I no longer feel compelled to go in and tweak this scene, or fill in this part. I don’t feel as though there are things still left unsaid. I am content. To be honest, I never thought I would get that way about a book, but there it is. I can look at Deny the Moon and feel nothing. No wiggle of anxiety. No panic. There is nothing left to say.

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So relaxed.

Does this mean Deny the Moon is perfect? Hell no. This is my first book guys, my debut novel. I’m still getting my feet wet in this whole writing thing, and I am sure from a technical standpoint there can still be fixes to be had, but the truth of the matter is I am done having them. I have put the book through all the paces I had access to, have revised and rewrote hours of content, had a multitude of eyes peruse it’s pages in search of problematic paragraphs, and there is no more I can do. It’s my baby, and she’s ready to meet the world.

So, as of today, you can snag yourself a copy in two ways:

  • Via Smashwords for Free!
  • Or, if you don’t mind throwing a nickel into my hat, you can also get the Kindle version for $0.99.

There’s really not much else to it.

Thank you, to everyone who has listened to my ups and downs while getting through this. It means the world to me. And the best part about being done? I have finally unclogged the blockade that was keeping me from writing book two. Since the relaunch, I have written an entire page of content for Raging Spirit, something I was beginning to worry would never happen. I will totally take that as a sign to move forward.

Hopefully, you will enjoy what I’ve offered to you. Whether you are new to the series, or just want to brush up on the new content, I recommend giving it a read. And as always, feel free to leave an honest review. I’ll keep plugging away at the sequel, and another surprise I have up my sleeve for you.

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How to Throw a *Proper* Virtual Launch Party

Launch parties. They sound fun, don’t they? I mean it’s all in the name. A party is a gathering of people coming together for some special occasion (my favorite occasion is having booze in the house) and letting the good times roll, and who doesn’t love to let their hair down once in a while? What a fantastic way to promote your new book!

With Deny the Moon getting ready for it’s own re-launch, I thought I might blog a little about my whole Launch Party process. You know, to sort of give the inexperienced a little peek into the whole thing.

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Look up every resource in the entirety of the human earth (not to be confused with the non-human earth) on the subject of Facebook Book Launches. Follow every suggestion to the letter, including those that contradict each other, until you have consumed so much information that your head feels full and woozy and you suspect it no longer has to do with the fifth of Evan Williams you started in on during blog #67.

Take all of the advice you read about and throw it all in the trash. You are going to wing this!

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Tell a couple of close confidants about your plans. Support is key to getting through this with some sanity. Make sure you repeat your worries, fears, and concerns over and over until they understand that you are totally not asking them for their help. Hold the tears inside when they don’t pick up on the hints. Swallow your feelings along with the month-old, half eaten pint of Ben and Jerry’s you forgot was in your freezer.

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Stalk other launch parties to see how well they did. Not to take their ideas, because we already decided they were rubbish and we are winging it! But we just want proof that this sort of thing actually works. Of course, there really is no proof because we can’t see their sales reports, but boy they look like a fun bunch!

Book launches can be broken down into five basic elements: Games, discussions, giveaways, music, and of course, promoting your book. I mean, the whole point of these things are to tell people about the fruits of the last seven years of your labor, but you don’t want to make the rookie mistake of making the day all about your book. No, why would we want to do that? That’s “rude.” You want to try to convince people to go to Amazon and buy a $3.00 eBook in the most upfront and honest way possible!? Pffft. Amateur. We all know what everyone in your prospective audience really wants is to jump through a ton of hoops and force a smile as you discuss character inspirations and mood music (not to mention all those rejections from “gate-keeping” traditional publishers.) Why, I’m sure most of them love to sit through time-share presentations before getting their free vacation, as well!

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Also, make sure you have been planning this thing for at least 6 months before you realized this was even a thing. These things take time, after all, which you don’t have! Now you have all of four weeks (if you are lucky) to do half a year’s preparation. Good times!

You  want to show these strangers that you really have your shit together, because when someone thinks “author” they think the picture of mental health and organizational godliness. So, set yourself up for success by finding a block of time that both gives you the freedom to mingle in real time with your party guests and manages to find that sweet spot of peak traffic time across the many time zones of the world!

One way to achieve this perfect union of scheduling is to just make the party last a full day, that way you don’t become that monster author that excluded anyone. There are no clique-queens here! Save the feelings of betrayal for when you kill off the one character your readers love.

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If you just can’t shove the rest of your responsibilities to that back burner where you’ve managed to dump all of your other works-in-progress while you focus on this one little launch party—don’t worry, I am sure you will remember those little sparks of ideas you had while scrolling through Published to Death for advice on throwing a virtual launch party (spoiler: there isn’t any)—then you can always create a script for you to copy and paste from. Candid interactions are so overrated anyway. So is winging it. And sobriety.

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Make sure you set up a few party games for your guests to interact with one another (because, let’s face it, it’s unlikely you will get three to five hours of actual uninterrupted-by-life time to sit and focus on making sure every guest gets to know you on a deep, personal level!) They can’t just be any random game, though. You don’t want to shatter this illusion of competency with an unstructured party! The games should match up with your book somehow.

Theme is the key word. Everything needs to tie in to your book, so you better be certain of what the underlying theme is so you can apply it to your launch. This is not the time for novels written for the sake of writing. It has to have an ulterior motive. Or, you know, something you can hashtag the crap out of. Make it relevant. It doesn’t matter if you started writing it before the age of the internet (or that it’s set in 17th century Bavaria), if you want to get the most hits out of this shindig, then you better find a way to weave the “Fake News” narrative in there.

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Also, let’s talk giveaways. If we are being completely honest with ourselves, we know the giveaways are the only real reason most of these people take five minutes out of their day to pop in. Without them, all you have to offer is a book you wrote. That hardly seems worthy compensation for their time spent with you. And don’t even think about having nothing to offer your guests other than a free copy of the work you are promoting. Years of effort and tears or not, that is a cheap way to go about things.

I mean, you are an author, are you not? You need to dip into the buckets of wealth you’ve obviously somehow made prior to putting this book out for sale, and find things people actually want. That way, when they pass by a copy of your novel on the shelves, they will be overcome with warm fuzzy feelings and remember getting the Target gift cards, the custom t-shirt you spent $30.00 to make (each), or the Kindle Fire they can now read other people’s books on. Those memories won’t make them actually buy your novel, but gosh, isn’t it a nice gesture?

If you think people are going to remember you by the novel you’ve been sweating over, then maybe you should go buy a few more books on publishing and marketing. You’ll get over those dewy-eyed dreams of trending on Twitter, I promise.

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Here is where it gets interesting! All that careful researching, planning, crafting, luring, and binge-drinking you’ve done over the last month? Toss it. Forget about it. Pretend it never happened.

Why does this have to be so complicated? You wrote a book. You decided to self-publish. Was that not masochistic enough for you? If this is your first book, I’m going to let you in on a secret I stumbled upon in the end-days of researching: There is little to no chance that throwing an elaborate launch is going to do you any good. Why? Because no one knows who you are! I mean, really. Say you didn’t do the whole twitter thing, the whole networking and rubbing elbows with established authors thing. Let’s just say that, as far as recognition is concerned, no matter how many times you’ve retweeted one of those wacky writers you love, it has done NOTHING to put your name out there for people to recognize.

Would you follow some random guy on the street corner because he shouts about some party he’s throwing in your face as you walk by? No? Exactly. It’s better if you get your name out there with some of your actual work before you attempt this. No one likes those writers that tweet nothing but links to buy their book. No one like being shouted at to pay attention to something! 

If no one knows who you are, and you don’t have the benefit of word-of-mouth advertising for your party, that’s pretty much the equivalent of a buy-link avalanche on twitter.

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Congratulations, if you made it this far, then you have successfully walked my own personal path of throwing a launch party. The bottom line? There isn’t gonna be one for Deny the Moon. Not like everyone says to do. Not yet.

I was making myself insane over doing this the “right way” this time, until finally I realized the right way does not exist. What works for all those other writers won’t work for me, and probably won’t work for you. Trying to copy their success (or attempt at it) isn’t authentic to me. I’m a fledgling author with one little novel. No one outside of my family and friends really know my name, and a good deal of them don’t pay much attention to my writing journey. How in the Hell am I supposed to make a name for myself if I only have one book? How am I supposed to make more books if I waste ALL my free time trying to pimp out this one?

I won’t. So, this Saturday, I won’t be throwing a Launch Party for my book after all. You can still stop by the Duckicorn Facebook page if you like, as I will still try to post some random tidbits. If you want to ask a question or start a discussion I am all for it! But I think I’m going to celebrate the relaunch by working on the sequel, for real this time. Maybe when that one is done, I will try again. Who knows. There might be a Kindle Fire in the future.**

**For me, not to give away. You heard me mention I am self-published, right?
A note about this post:
Most of this is pretty tongue-in-cheek and meant as a vent for my personal frustrations with marketing yourself and your book on your own. I do want to make one thing clear before I depart: Launch Parties can be a great tool for getting to know your audience. They won’t work for everyone, but quite a few authors have found success in them and this is not to belittle that success in any way. It works for some people. Some people it doesn’t. The point is to find the ways that work for you, rather than just going through with something because “everyone else is doing it.” I truly don’t believe there is a right or wrong way to promote yourself. There is only the way best suited for your product. 🙂 Cheers, and good luck!

~Melissa

Mark Your Calendars!

I’m excited. Like, super excited. I’m talking full on Jessie Spano on caffeine pills excited (and yes, I mean the full meltdown.) What do I have to be so excited-yet-mind-numbingly-terrified about, you ask?

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Well, if you didn’t ask I’m going to tell you anyway.

Deny the Moon is in the final stages of being republished! Yes, after yet another go-around with revisions I have finally trimmed and tweaked it to exactly where I want it. Huzzah! Hooray! Bravo! Yippee!

Now, anyone who has kept up with my bi-polar plans and efforts with this book will know that after having pulled it from the virtual shelves to really tighten it up, I had planned to shop the finished manuscript to any agent that will accept a previously self-published work. I knew they were out there, just waiting to have my query pop up in their inbox so they could all clamor to offer me bountiful contracts…

*sighs dreamily*

Of course, what I’ve learned about that is:

  • There aren’t very many agents willing to accept previously self-pubbed works, and
  • Of those that do, you really don’t have much of a chance of selling a work if it wasn’t already selling well to begin with

So, after finding two agents that would accept it, I decided to give it a try with them as a means to get my feet wet and if no one bit, I would go back to self-publishing it. I submitted my queries, heard back from one with a very polite and encouraging form rejection, and have waited several weeks to hear back from the other. Since I have not, I will take that as their version of the FadeAway and mark that up as a no-go.

But I did not admit defeat! I took it as a quick lesson in what my future queries will hold, got the scary first rejection out of the way, and set to putting Deny the Moon back on the shelves. The proper way.

And now here we are!

ON FEBRUARY 18 2017
  • I will reveal the launch date for the re-release of Deny the Moon!
  • I will reveal my sexy, shiny new cover designed by @Silvana_md!
  • And a few other treats!

 

It will all be going down here on my blog two weeks from tomorrow. So are you excited? I know I am! I’ll bet you want a little sneak peek, right? Just a teaser tide-me-over until the 18th? Is that what you want? Well…

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Yep, I know. I’m a mean, awful person. Come on, I have to do something to feel in control, here!

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Guest Blog by @DillWerner ~ Writing #OwnVoices : Exploring Gender Identity and Sexuality

I met Dill Werner several months ago through a blog we both wandered onto. We became critique partners and I quickly realized that there was something special with this one. Not just with their writing (which, let me tell you guys, you’ll want to remember their name!) but with them as a person. Through Dill’s platform on Twitter, I have witnessed hours of encouraging statements, calls to action, and a firm solidarity and love for the LGBTQ+ community. The latter is not only very prominent in their professional and personal life, but is also reflected quite masterfully in the writing I was privileged to get a peek at.

 “It’s not as simple as labeling a character ‘bisexual’ and thinking they’ll be interested dating only male or female characters.”

Because of this, I have asked Dill to guest blog for me. After all, this blog is (mostly) dedicated to becoming an author and all that entails. In the era of #OwnVoices and the voracious appetite agents are—finally—starting to get for diversity in literature, Dill is a shining example of how to successfully and authentically embrace LGBTQ+ both professionally and personally.

Dill Werner on accepting, exploring, and representing Gender Identity and Sexuality:

A few weeks ago, I sent an email to my literary agent telling her the truth: I was genderqueer and preferred to use the pronouns “they/them.” It was important for me to make the transition before my debut novel came out and avoid any misgendering in the public eye. She understood and said she supported me no matter what I chose to do. Luckily, I’m with a literary agency that promotes diversity and protects its authors. It doesn’t hurt that I’m also signed to the president, senior agent, and a NYT bestselling author.

My agent knew from the very beginning that I identified as queer and pansexual. In our first phone conversation, we discussed sexuality, gender, and how I wanted to incorporate LGBTQ+ themes and characters into my work. It’s something I included in my query letter, that “it doesn’t matter what genre or age group I’m writing for, there are always LGBT+ elements and characters in my manuscripts. It’s a part of who I am as a writer.” But writing queer fiction isn’t for everyone. (Note that I used the word queer because I am comfortable with it. Not every LGBTQ+ person is. It’s a word we’re taking back and using to empower ourselves. However, people outside of the LGBTQ+ community shouldn’t use it unless they’re referring to the community or an area of interest, i.e. queer studies.)

Writing from multiple gender point-of-views and incorporating more than two pronouns is something that comes naturally to me. I’ve also had extensive training and education in LGBTQ+ terminology. I know which terms to use with which characters and who prefers to be identified as what. Sometimes, I’ll get it wrong or someone won’t agree with me. That’s their right as a reader. As an author, I expect both positive and negative feedback. It’s impossible for

me to get everything 100% accurate all the time. Even when speaking from my own voice, there will be discrepancies. My experiences may differ greatly from another genderqueer person’s.

If you are preparing to write LGBTQ+ fiction, you must do your research. It’s not as simple as labeling a character “bisexual” and thinking they’ll be interested dating only male or female characters. Bisexuality has evolved to mean something much more. It’s when a person is attracted to someone of the same gender as themselves and to people of one or more different genders. If the character isn’t attracted to their own sex but is attracted to multiple but not all genders, then you might identify them as polysexual. Pansexual broadens bisexuality by saying that a person’s sexual attraction is not limited to gender identity. See? Not so simple.

As someone who is demisexual panromantic, pansexual is the term I prefer to use. It’s less gendered and allows me to connect with a person on a more intimate basis. Bisexual never felt right for me because I didn’t feel included as a genderqueer person. Pan is like holding up a sign that says, “non-binary and trans people welcome.” These are the little things that need to be considered when developing characters, characters who represent real people and real experiences.

Each sexuality comes with its own hurdles. Someone who is bi undergoes different discriminations than someone who is gay/lesbian, poly, or pansexual. This is why speaking from one’s own voice is important. In my current adult manuscript—working title, ZIRKUS—I was thrilled to be able to explore my own sexuality and gender identity through characters who are pansexual, trans, and demisexual. ZIRKUS takes place in an international aerial circus where

performers are gifted with supernatural abilities based on their natural talents—think Cirque du Soleil with magic and an all-queer cast.

Kass is my first on-the-page demi character, and his sexuality is crucial to his development and exploring the relationship he has with his boyfriend, Taras. I was finally able to express myself and bring light to a sexuality that rarely gets any page time.

Taras knew the truth of my sexuality. Not only was I homoromantic, but I was demisexual, too. It was the opposite of love at first sight. For me, emotional intimacy had to come before any sexual attraction could take hold. I wouldn’t allow someone to explore my body unless we held a deep, emotional bond between us. The first time Taras kissed me backstage, it was a disaster—two teenagers fondling each other in the dark. I’d felt nothing because there was nothing to feel, not until we knew each other. Once the connection between us blossomed, it developed into an intensity that raged like a brush fire each time his fingers skimmed mine.

Then there is the beta reader favorite, ringleader Nez. At the beginning of the manuscript, Nez isn’t able to voice the particular name for his non-binary gender identity. He doesn’t know what it is it until he talks it out with his love interest, who supports him unconditionally. His journey mirrored the relationship I have with my spouse and how it helped me discover my gender identity. Nez’s plotline is a thinly-veiled exploration of my own gender identity and was a way for me to cope with the dysphoria that comes along with being trans and non-binary:

“Give me a minute, love. I’m having one of those strange–” [Nez] shook his head, eyes pinched together. “I don’t know, really.”
Dysphoria. The one thing I couldn’t understand. “I get it. No. What am I talking about? I don’t get it. Mensch! That was stupid. I’m sorry.”
“Sadie–”
“What’s the right thing to say?” I asked him. “Because I have no idea.”
Nez hooked a stray curl behind my ear, a gentle touch that reminded me he was there. He was there for me, and I needed to be there for him. “Don’t say anything. Listen.” 

I am fortunate to look past something called the “cis gaze,” an unseen the privilege cis people have that encompasses their unawareness to trans and non-binary struggles within their cisgender world. Simply put, someone with “cis gaze” isn’t aware of everyday trans and non-binary difficulties and often doesn’t think they have to be.

Being genderqueer allows me to look at the world from more than a male, female, or non-binary perspective. I am treated one way by outsiders, but I take bits and pieces from each gender and make them part of my identity. However, I will never know what it’s like to fully transitioned from one gender to another. It’s vital that I understand my limitations and realize some stories aren’t mine to tell. Nez’s story is about coming into one’s gender labels but not about transitioning. My trans siblings have covered transitioning much better, and I will continue to promote their works.

If you’re thinking of entering the world of LGBTQ+ fiction, be mindful. Listen first. Be prepared to take criticism. Know your boundaries. Understand that no matter how much you research and how hard you try to be sensitive to the issues, someone won’t like your work. Learn from your mistakes, listen to concerns, and apologize. We’re all human. Lastly, good luck!

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Dill Werner is a LGBTQ+ young adult and adult author signed to The Knight Agency, whohas been featured on The Gay YA and the Daily Dot. When not conspiring to take down the gender binary, they cheerlead amazing people in the queer community and edit their Own Voices narratives about feminist sci-fi heroines and heroes and mystical queer circuses where no one is targeted for their sexual orientation. Find them on Twitter [@DillWerner] or check out their Blog for more ramblings about gender, sexuality, and book reviews.

Having Daughters Is Nothing Like I Expected

Since I was a little girl, about 12-years-old, I knew I was going to have a daughter. There was no doubt about it. I would grow up, get married, and become a mother. I didn’t know how many children I would have, but I knew that I would definitely have a daughter. I want to say when I did just that it was everything I hoped for, but in all honesty it was nothing like I expected.

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I knew that I would dress up my sweet little girl in ribbons and curls and cute little pink skirts. I never thought I’d be telling my daughter that she couldn’t wear her favorite dress to the park because there are predators out there that loiter around the swings watching and as fun as it is to jump from the swing and tumble on the ground, he might see her undies.

I remember people showing their kids embarrassing toddler pictures, which almost always included a bath pic or a nakie-baby pic. I was shocked when it became “bad” to share these precious—and usually hilarious—moments of their childhood because it was suddenly considered obscene. I was even more surprised when I eventually understood that some perverts found something less-than-innocent in these pictures and that they eventually stole those precious keepsakes from me because, God forbid, you actually have possession of one then you are automatically considered a “sicko”.

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I knew I’d want to take her swimming or watch her play in the sprinkler in the front yard, but I didn’t know I’d end up making her wear a pair of shorts over her swimsuit because someone at the pool was gawking at her just a little too hard. I didn’t expect to have to pass on the ultra-cute ruffled two-pieces because a grown man might think her tummy showing meant she was inviting his disgusting thoughts.

I looked forward to going on outings with my daughter and visiting new places. It never really occurred to me that first I would have to teach her that it was safer to use the restroom with someone she knew; something in-grained into our female brains long before there was such a thing as a “transgender bathroom-issue”. That men often mock and tease us for “herding” without realizing they are the cause of it.

I knew I would want to take my daughter to the annual fair to see the pretty lights and ride the rides, but I didn’t expect I would find myself tying a rope from my belt loop to hers out of the growing fear and anxiety that someone might snatch her in the crowd. That people might point and laugh at us and some might even give me dirty looks for being that mom, but somehow that little length of rope would give me a sense of security and ease.

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I came to terms with the fact that, the older and more independent she got, the more she would want to play alone or be more adventurous. She’d want to ride her bike around the block, play in a friend’s yard, or go for a walk with friends. I was heartbroken when I realized I would have make her sacrifice most of her independence for safety, and shatter her understanding of the world around her by telling her about stranger danger and bad people. It broke my heart to watch her lose some of that trust in human beings. It completely destroyed me knowing that I had barely even touched on exactly how terrifying and bad the people in this world could be.

I expected my daughter would eventually have the puberty class, as we all did in school. It would be informative and embarrassing, and a little funny, but she would learn more about her body and what it does and why. What I wasn’t prepared for were special classes teaching her about good touches and bad touches, because 1 in 4 children are molested. That means of the 20 kids in my daughter’s class, 5 of her friends will have experienced “bad touching”.

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When I separated from her father, I knew to expect troubled times and difficulty with co-parenting. I knew there would be times when she was with me and she wanted to see daddy instead. I could barely bear it when I ended up having to keep the truth from her about her bio-dad, because the things he later did to another little girl are too terrible to burden her with, and now when she says she wants to meet her dad, it doubly hurts.

I hate to say it, but I even knew there might be a time or two where my daughter would get in trouble at school and I might even have to come and speak with the principal about it. She’s a kid. It’s a given. But I never dreamed I might be called out of work, missing a day’s pay, to meet with the principal because my daughter wore a tank top to school— which lacked proper air-conditioning—because her shoulders were “distracting” and “disruptive”. Meaning, because my little girl dressed for comfort on a very hot day, she’s not allowed to stay in school because of it, because her education isn’t as important as the boys who were somehow too distracted by her shoulders to focus on their studies (I can tell you, they really weren’t. Give our boys some credit).

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I dreaded, but expected, my daughter’s teenage firsts. First car, first phone, first date, first prom… All scary, but memorable, times. What I didn’t count on was that she’d have to walk in parking lots with pepper spray or self-defense training just to go to the store alone, that she’d be pressured into sending boys nude selfies and then find out at school the next day that everyone saw it, that she would have to be assertive when she said “No” to a boy because they don’t always listen the first, second, or third time, and even that I would have to worry that she knew she was worth more than her body and if he loved her, her boyfriend wouldn’t pressure her to give it to him.

Sending my daughter to college will be bittersweet, and I know I will have to trust in her to take care of herself and get her studies done. I just hope, when it comes time to put down work and go to play, that she remembers to go to parties with friends and watch each others backs, to never ever leave her drink unattended or accept an open drink from anyone, and to not get too drunk that she can’t defend herself because being a girl, she can’t do those inconsequential things like boys get to do.

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But I also knew I would have a son of my own, too. Someone I would raise to treat everyone with respect and to protect anyone that needs help. I just didn’t understand I would have to teach him to not look at girls like meat but to treat them like human beings and to love them rather than lust after them, that he should never ever take advantage of a girl who might have had too much to drink and instead get her to a safe place, that he needs to take responsibility for his own mistakes and not blame his inability to focus on what a girl is wearing, that he is not owed anything from the girl he is dating, and that he should focus on what a girl adds to his life rather than what she can give him for a night. I didn’t understand I would have to teach these things to my son because my daughters will forever be forced to deal with boys who weren’t taught the same by their mothers and fathers. But one day, he will have a daughter of his own and it will hit him as hard as it hit me. When that time comes, I hope he will have lived as the kind of boy he would want his own daughter to date.

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**Not every anecdote written here happened to my daughters. Some are examples of stories I’ve heard from other women, as well.

 

On Humility and Shooting Yourself in the Foot

As you should know by now, I am not what you call a consistent blogger. In fact, it usually takes an incredible burst of energy (often fueled by coffee, sudden inspiration, and a virgin sacrifice), amazing news I can’t keep to myself, or having something absolutely ridiculous happen that I feel the need to share with the six, or so, people that actually read this blog. Well, as it so happens, today I couldn’t quite catch me a virgin, and I don’t have anything particularly exciting to share with everyone. That pretty much means that someone has done something unforgivably offensive or spectacularly stupid.

You’re in for a real treat today because it just so happens to be both!

On Thursday, In The Inbox introduced the world to David Benjamin. A crotchety old man who I can’t help but imagine kicks puppies and screams at his blog visitors to get off his virtual lawn.

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Turns out, Davey Boy takes rejection about as well as Kanye West takes the Grammys giving T-Swift the award.

In fact, would it be a reach to call David Benjamin the Kanye of the literary world? Maybe? Eh, I’ll go with it.

Now, I won’t get into all the ugly details (just make sure you visit the blog to read the train wreck for yourself. It could save your career) but let’s just say he knowingly didn’t follow the clearly stated rules of a writing conference, got his 319th rejection, and ran to his blog to throw a tantrum. He was condescending to her, questioned her ability to do her job due to her age/boredom/attitude, questioned whether or not she even wanted to do her line of work, mocked her appearance and choice of clothing, and talked about her like she was an ignorant, weak, sad little girl. Basically put, he’s not only an ass… he’s a chauvinistic ass.

What’s even more mind-boggling is that she is not his only target. In fact, there is a thread on his blog completely devoted to trashing every agent that rejects him, though he is noticeably worse on the females. That being said, why would you very publicly attack the people you are literally begging to validate your life’s work?

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And before you start on that, yes… we very much are begging for validation of our work with every critique, every query, every breath, every word. We feed off of it. It fuels our egos—cause you have to know that writers are pretty egotistical creatures when we are shouting, “Look! Werds! I wrote them! Pay me for them! They are exquisite werds! The werdiest werds to ever werd! What? No? LuLz, okay, thanks anyway! I’m just gonna go cry into a bottle of whiskey now.”

Wait. That’s just me? Oh…

Seriously, though. Let’s just put the whole it-doesn’t-cost-you-anything-to-just-not-be-a-raging-douche-canoe thing to the side for a moment, and focus on the real brain-tickler here.

You want an agent to help you get your foot in the door with a publisher. Do you really think they are going to hold the door for someone who throws bullshit at them and then tries—note I said tries. I do gotta say, I really love the writing community when they band together to defend someone—to not only humiliate them, but completely bully them? No. No, they aren’t going to jump at the chance to work with a complete and total twat-knuckle.

To make it in this business, you need a little humility. Say it with me for the David Benjamins in the back:

HUMILITY

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This is a mantra I, myself, have to repeat everyday in my journey. As it is, I have made the gut-wrenching decision to pull my first book from Amazon to give it a thorough overhaul… again. Having humility in my craft is what allows me to see when I could do something better and give it more attention. My work will never be perfect in my eyes, but it will only get better with each tweak.

It’s okay to believe in yourself. It’s amazing to believe in your work. It’s not okay or amazing to have such an over-inflated ego that you think it’s okay to mock and ridicule anyone who dares to defy your beliefs of being the greatest writer in the history of the world holding the next masterpiece in your sweaty, run-down fingers. I mean, you very well might be just that, but no one is ever going to know if you unload a clip of self-damning venom into the foot of your career.